Truly there are no words to describe this year...
I hope for better things
and new opportunities for less worries and more happiness
I hope for this upcoming year to last a little longer to hold a new beginning so i can finally let go of the past.

Jessie J- Do it like a dude
Choreography by: Dejan Tubic & Janelle Ginestra

Omfggggggg! i swear 93% of the time why i go on YouTube is to look at her
:OOO She's just sooo amazing I love her I love her.
This is definitely an obsession.

Ciara- Yeah I know
Choreography by: Dejan Tubic & Janelle Ginestra
I just look at her i pretty much stop and skip the rest.
Janelle :D :D

I don't believe in something where I don't have the background knowledge.
Therefore I don't believe in half the things your Catholic religion says.
Leading up to me not fully understanding this holy holiday you people go crazy for.

-Cudderisback (Ottoman Remix) - Kid Cudi ft. Vampire Weekend


"now go and get my album and get off my dick"

I just find it really funny considering the fact that i've made it my song...

The words I dragged out of my mouth, did not carry half the meaning of what I was feeling, I lied. I wished I found skeptical words so I could confuse this awkward situation… but those are words that do not exist. Fill my mind with regret and I’ll soon forget about you because this is our fault even if you pretend to see everything differently.


I Dont feel good (AGAIN)

That is all

Vampire Weekend- White sky

Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...

Because your daughter simply enjoys exploring...

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " - Bob Marley

I reallllly want them

The truth is I hate thinking…

Stab my stomach opening only my side and slowly remove all the remains.
I’m perfectly fine being a complete ignorant.
Ignorant enough, to not even notice the negativity surrounding me.
Imagine that…how beautiful.
Being as childish to every topic because the world just seems so playfully blissful.
What to do with all this knowledge, regardless of what I do. I’m simply not enough.

I’ll never be.
So why keep trying if I get a harmful slight saying “yeah”
I don’t want the truth I would rather live in a wonderful lie connected

by senses and imagination.
Don’t judge me. Please don’t.
I’m a fool smoothing areas where you walk.
I’m a fool wanting to be ignorant.

"You can only see as far as you think"

and
It's not easy .....

"I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?"

Artist: Bon Iver lyrics
Title: Skinny Love

Its a circle full of people, but it feels empty.
I wish I were blind so I could no longer see you lie.
I wish I were deaf so I could no longer hear lies.
Shut your mouth shut it and don’t say anything for I’ll fall again for every single word
Why is it that every time I find something good and worth while
I try finding unnecessary flaws I destroy it with this patience with negativity.
What’s next after this after a short hour of complete happiness
of feeling in place of having control over your attention... if everything is gone my the second your mind decides 'I’ve had enough" What about me? What if for once I decide to forgive? What if for once my mind decides to shut down? What if for once, I get the courage to pick a piece of paper and write you the letter you have always expected.

Because i wanted to see what was left



Of OUR Nothing

This is what i do on my spare time :D ehhh lately all i want to do is paint.
Its just relaxing. Those days where every one is on my last nerve and the day just cant seem to ever end. The days where the only resort to feeling better is by fighting with someone. The days where i cant find the replay button to my favorite song. On those days, i sit and magically find comfort while painting. Even if i paint the most stupid thing like this Circles? What the fuck! Really? Did i really use pink here? Did i really just do this? Really Janette! I don't know i don't really judge colors when painting. I don't nearly think of what i want. I just do it, go with the flow and whatever is on my mind is the result. Well that's enough boring-ness for today.

I swear I was dying yesterday that's how sick i was...at least i slept most of the day.
Well no school for Janette lets see what can i do on this exciting day? hmmm -_______-
Something that does not involve going outside. Nor moving a lot. No talking. A lot of resting. Possibly.... as you can see this day sucks just like yesterday! Fuck December 6th and fuck the fact that I'm feeling so sickly miserable.

FUCK DECEMBER 5th and....

Fuck the fact that I'm feeling so sickly miserable.

I wish it was tomorrow.
I wish 3 months could pass by while I sleep.
I wished it wasn't so dark when i came out of school.
I wish i had a play list of songs playing as i live my life...like in movies
I wish i had a bunch of pancakes
I wish you were free
I wish to forgive to forget
I wish...I wish i had the nerve to stop hiding behind all these words to simply have the courage to tell someone what i need but i cant. So for now, I'll remain craving the urge and feeling to speak and let someone know.