Truly there are no words to describe this year...
I hope for better things
and new opportunities for less worries and more happiness
I hope for this upcoming year to last a little longer to hold a new beginning so i can finally let go of the past.

Jessie J- Do it like a dude
Choreography by: Dejan Tubic & Janelle Ginestra

Omfggggggg! i swear 93% of the time why i go on YouTube is to look at her
:OOO She's just sooo amazing I love her I love her.
This is definitely an obsession.

Ciara- Yeah I know
Choreography by: Dejan Tubic & Janelle Ginestra
I just look at her i pretty much stop and skip the rest.
Janelle :D :D

I don't believe in something where I don't have the background knowledge.
Therefore I don't believe in half the things your Catholic religion says.
Leading up to me not fully understanding this holy holiday you people go crazy for.

-Cudderisback (Ottoman Remix) - Kid Cudi ft. Vampire Weekend


"now go and get my album and get off my dick"

I just find it really funny considering the fact that i've made it my song...

The words I dragged out of my mouth, did not carry half the meaning of what I was feeling, I lied. I wished I found skeptical words so I could confuse this awkward situation… but those are words that do not exist. Fill my mind with regret and I’ll soon forget about you because this is our fault even if you pretend to see everything differently.


I Dont feel good (AGAIN)

That is all

Vampire Weekend- White sky

Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...
Because my mother asked why i like weird music...

Because your daughter simply enjoys exploring...

" You may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there. " - Bob Marley

I reallllly want them

The truth is I hate thinking…

Stab my stomach opening only my side and slowly remove all the remains.
I’m perfectly fine being a complete ignorant.
Ignorant enough, to not even notice the negativity surrounding me.
Imagine that…how beautiful.
Being as childish to every topic because the world just seems so playfully blissful.
What to do with all this knowledge, regardless of what I do. I’m simply not enough.

I’ll never be.
So why keep trying if I get a harmful slight saying “yeah”
I don’t want the truth I would rather live in a wonderful lie connected

by senses and imagination.
Don’t judge me. Please don’t.
I’m a fool smoothing areas where you walk.
I’m a fool wanting to be ignorant.

"You can only see as far as you think"

and
It's not easy .....

"I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?"

Artist: Bon Iver lyrics
Title: Skinny Love

Its a circle full of people, but it feels empty.
I wish I were blind so I could no longer see you lie.
I wish I were deaf so I could no longer hear lies.
Shut your mouth shut it and don’t say anything for I’ll fall again for every single word
Why is it that every time I find something good and worth while
I try finding unnecessary flaws I destroy it with this patience with negativity.
What’s next after this after a short hour of complete happiness
of feeling in place of having control over your attention... if everything is gone my the second your mind decides 'I’ve had enough" What about me? What if for once I decide to forgive? What if for once my mind decides to shut down? What if for once, I get the courage to pick a piece of paper and write you the letter you have always expected.

Because i wanted to see what was left



Of OUR Nothing

This is what i do on my spare time :D ehhh lately all i want to do is paint.
Its just relaxing. Those days where every one is on my last nerve and the day just cant seem to ever end. The days where the only resort to feeling better is by fighting with someone. The days where i cant find the replay button to my favorite song. On those days, i sit and magically find comfort while painting. Even if i paint the most stupid thing like this Circles? What the fuck! Really? Did i really use pink here? Did i really just do this? Really Janette! I don't know i don't really judge colors when painting. I don't nearly think of what i want. I just do it, go with the flow and whatever is on my mind is the result. Well that's enough boring-ness for today.

I swear I was dying yesterday that's how sick i was...at least i slept most of the day.
Well no school for Janette lets see what can i do on this exciting day? hmmm -_______-
Something that does not involve going outside. Nor moving a lot. No talking. A lot of resting. Possibly.... as you can see this day sucks just like yesterday! Fuck December 6th and fuck the fact that I'm feeling so sickly miserable.

FUCK DECEMBER 5th and....

Fuck the fact that I'm feeling so sickly miserable.

I wish it was tomorrow.
I wish 3 months could pass by while I sleep.
I wished it wasn't so dark when i came out of school.
I wish i had a play list of songs playing as i live my life...like in movies
I wish i had a bunch of pancakes
I wish you were free
I wish to forgive to forget
I wish...I wish i had the nerve to stop hiding behind all these words to simply have the courage to tell someone what i need but i cant. So for now, I'll remain craving the urge and feeling to speak and let someone know.

Your juicy lips...

Because I hope for that day, waking up and everything being the same. Like it use to be. I will secretly keep hope. Secretly anguish the feeling the rushing feeling that you will one day hug me again. This time with freedom I expect a handful of happiness to brighten my lonely days and expiring faith dont let me down now.

Maydel got a cool pix nikon that makes her a coolgirl.!
She bought me a box of zebra cakes what am i suppose to do with a box full of zebra cakes!

I dont know i have a bunch of pictures i want to get rif of.

Katy perry- Last Friday night


Oh good god that was just too horrible.
Redbull Redbull Redbull!
I woke up at 4am and came back at 1pm
Last night i went to sleep at 12 meaning i ONLY slept 4 hours!
When we came home I went straight to bed and just woke up!
The good thing about this is.....emmm, ugh there really isn't anything good about this just clothes. Hours waiting In line so tired well whatever the only thing i can get out of this experience is while waiting in line to buy sweaters from Hollister they put this reaaaaallly catchy song from Katy perry :D and another one by some guy now they cant get out my head this sounds soo corny....."Skinny dipping in the dark" has got to be the only line i know from the song the rest is just mumbled. Alright i'm gonna go do other stuff wtf! can i do at 7 my day is over

Happy Birthday Mookss. ;) Nov.25.10

Invisibility Cloak. Mutherfucking Harry Potter Bitch

Today i hardly thought of you. less communication less

Story of the day

I was infront of kelly
I was ready to cross the street...
And this one girl crossed at the sametime as me.
We get to the sidewalk
Janette- ohmygod this is sooo magical we crossed at the same time:DD
Girl- Okay you creep O.o lol
Then yeahhh we go in. What a great story :D haha

I dont know her i forgot to ask for her name.

Now i have to look for that girl that crossed the street with me

In the hallways.

I give up It's useless i dont want to pretend. I wrote your name all over my arm
because i felt a little closer ...but it rained today.I wish i felt what you feel........... that big ball of blahh Ughhh i hate you.!!!!!
nonono i cant hate you

Ehhh i feel down

"If you give your heart to each and everything,

you lead it nowhere; you destroy your heart"

He ruined 7th for me again
uhhh just go back in your mothers uterus and come out when i die.
And the girl ohhhhhhhhhmyfuckingodddddd just kill me D;
hypocrite stupid bitch. Both just dissapear and let me live

Other than that this day really really is just.......

Nevershoutnever- It ain't me babe


Go ’way from my window
Leave at your own chosen speed
I’m not the one you want, babe
I’m not the one you need

I swear I'm obsessed with her. I cant stop looking at her.
Just AGH! LOOK AT HER!!!

Name is Janelle Ginestra and shes 21 so not stalking her....okay!.....maybe a little

Today is not a good day. Nothing really completes my open circle.
I'm just there, a girl with a blue sweater sittting in a chair
dreaming of not being there. Wanting to sleep and never waking up.
I hate family get together's.

I hate hearing about Summer.

TAKE ME AWAY.

I dont know what happem to the audio instead i got this weird ass
noise. I found itttt saved in a very old document. I was a red head D;
nooooooooo This is not my house

I thought i would feel better...Guess i'll just give it time *sigh

I Whip Ma Hair Back & Forth

I WHIP MAAAAAAA HAIRR BACK AND FORTHHHH!

Miles and Miles of grass and trees.

I swear i think all that sitting made me sore. All just to stay and visit ONE insignificant hour.

With no internet A dead battery With a CD full of love songs and sitting next to marisol

@#$%^&*!$#!

Its sureeee is depressing

I cant get a song out my head

I wonder from who.!? Stupid Bitch Stupid Stupid Bitch

Aghhh i suffer from agony as soon as i walk

in her class. Its so intense i wonder if other people

feel it too.

Okay i must admit its true but i wont dare let anyone know

how i feel. Judging takes up every single explanation i could possibly give :l

if only i had a turtle.

I dont care I wont talk to you anymore.!

Sitting there so calmly drinking, swallowing every I promise.
Sweating fierce faulty at the back of your smiles.
Your words are clear and direct, but they crush and bruise you don’t care like we do.
A life is at play. And all you say is “look at the time”
Every second of the day flies, and his breathe is shorten by tears.
His hope dies a little more. His dreams are not as high. His smile shrinks when begging sincere communication.
As you wine of how hard your day has been of how much money you lost.
He lies behind that unexpected barrier hoping to give you his world.
Your selfish and malicious
Your sour attitude lowers my expectations. I blame you for all my worries for all the
insecurities that lie inside me for all the mistakes I have not yet taken time to learn from.
Something grows and kills. Stop for a minute and look do you see what we see.
Not a man. Not a soul but our father, slowly dying of sadness for you.

I’m sorry for not taking time to think of you.
Today is just I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so sorry.
Please, I'm sorry

They said I should pretend.

MGMT- Time to pretend

Me- I don't know what to blog about -_________-
Mari- Meeeeee.!
So here we go

Dear Mary darling,
...
Sincerely Janette Your Favorite Sister

OH NOOOO IT'S THE 6th
:) I was planning on writing this on your facebook but LUCY wrote it first ahhhhhh I swear that girl is gonna get it ....ok ok whatever I don't care. Well my ale it's your birthday :)) and that could only mean one thing...................ohhh I know what you were thinking no.!! geeeees.!! your sick.!! .....okay no I don’t know what you were thinking I'm guessing like money, presents something of that sort but no mannn. Well hopefully you do get that cause yeah who doesnt want that. I ‘m giving you the day off just because it’s your birthday and that’s my present =)))))))))))))))))))) but no this is actually something serious. Today marks another year, a year of wrong choices, growing up, failure, happiness a year of love. Today this very day you take part once again in this thing called life and let me tell you I am oh so very glad you are part of my life and I mean this in the most sincere way. I love youuuu and your crazy thoughts. Thanks for being there. For appreciating the smallest details. For being able to spot my sadness and finding ways to make me smile. I cannot put in wordss how much fun we've both shared its just wooooooooooo girl.! Too much for people to handle. It really sucks knowing we were so close so close last year and had to break that due to the different schools. But just knowing i have someone like you out there fills my brain with warm and pure thoughts In other words it makes me feel very very happy. You may not know it but you are a very special person. And sorry if this sounds corny. I really don’t know why people decide to write nice things to people just because its their birthday uhhhh sooo unoriginal. Well in that case i am very unoriginal. Regardless of what stupid things you do know that I’ll be there supporting you. Have a nice one mannn and everything will come out just fine. Ignore the fags and suck it up because you have so much ahead of you and the people taking your time are just obstacles blocking your way. Find a way to leave them behind because they are not worth it. Oh god where did that come from? either way enjoy your birthday my lovely whore it is your day off :) Remember that i'll be here i love you

What a fucking mess. Stupid fucking problems. Stupid fucking feelings.

Oh how i would love to cuddle up in the sofa forget and watch all the Harry Potter movies.!

Harry potter.! Harry Potter.! Harry Potter.! Harry Potter.!
-Oh how I wished...

Face My World Backwards

I cant do it anymore. Nothing is the same.

Your memory burns and destroys, taking every ounce of confidence,

taking my steady beat of dealing with choices, with life, with memories....

and it hurts.

Happy birthday dad...

Halloween has got to be by far the most stupid holiday, but thats exactly why i love it,
it's soo fucking pointless i swear ahhh lets see what are some of the things i can do....

This is my favorite holiday

Okay...before i proceed i need you to fully let go of everything and focus on what you are about to read. Because this is for you and i know you wont read it and if you magically do then i hope you realize i wasn't playing, i wrote it a while back and i feel that now right now it's time. -For once I felt what you feel and it’s the most amazing feeling. Doing and being good at something you love so passionately its indescribable. I watched you play and reality smacked me a crossed the face. You love what you do, and don’t get me wrong, I love that you enjoy every second of it. If I think of that solid moment about the excitement running through every part of me just by standing there watching you, that tingling sensation i got. Racing at the back of my mind capturing every thought wanting to stand there forever. This was possibly far from the happiness you felt or currently feel. And I’ll be honest I loved it every second of it. I would replay it over and over until i could no longer feel. Now I know Now I get it, I get that at the moment all you want is that, and all you feel is that, and as hard as it may seem, I’m just a distraction. A distraction that’s moving on. Gladly knowing you. I expect great things from you don’t let me down now...You are free like my mind, it's okay. I don't want to mess it up it was too lovely. and writing this helps me say "I'll stop" take it as something stupid. Ignore it. Laugh. I don't nearly care. But I'll stop. Thanks once again it was worth the trip.

One man. One wish. Many dreams. Me. No hope. Lack of confidence.

Sadness and hoping for faith. Your life. In a room. I pray.

You'll be fine dad.