I find my self doing the same ritual routines.
Go to school, walk, get home, do homework and watch TV.
Here and there log in to facebook to find everything so tastefully different
not only the people i once spent my entire days with, changed...i changed
and its not necessarily a change i admire. Everything is pretty much dying. Whats the purpose in learning that "i don't know?" I'm pretty sure that by the time i am 30 i will forget half the things i spend hours working on. I lost interest. I constantly keep finding my self standing in crowds with people laughing and having the time of their life and i stand there along ritually laughing with them at something i don't nearly care about wishing to be else where. With wind, with wonders. but I'm stuck in between these walls they limit my freedom and i suffocate. I don't want this i never asked for it! How did i grow into such a humble life? How did i loose connection to everything i once cared about? What have i done with all the vivid ideas i hadand reserved for High School? is this really what i spent days hoping to happen this! a bundle of complete strangers. While i battle in my head a part of me insists on keeping hope. Where did i go wrong? I wont say i hate my life for i am very grateful to have an opportunity to develop a successful growing education. I have a home, food I have things most cant afford but i would give it all up just to feel a slight bit of assuredness in my mind that what i am doing has a meaning. A bit of adrenaline, give it up for constant happiness within me, a spark of interest to light up everything and and.......Suck it up and breathe real hard for one day it will all come back.... at least that's what i hope.